Have At Least 2 Date Nights A Month With Hubby

Between working full time, being a mom of two, endless day-to-day chores, and just getting consumed in the monotony that can come with exhaustion and simply trying to get through the day, it’s so easy to lose track of time. Days become so busy and full that they fly by without even realizing it.

And then suddenly, you realize that it’s been months since you’ve actually taken the time to spend quality, intentional time with your spouse.

Aside from the quick moments throughout the day where you express gratitude, you start to notice that you haven’t truly taken the time to just be with the person you love. The person you built this beautiful life with.

This is exactly why I dedicated a spot on my 30 Before 30 list to having at least two date nights a month with my husband.

A Love That Created My Dream Life

My husband is my absolute best friend, and I truly couldn’t imagine my life without him. He completes me in so many ways and also balances me out in others (because we all know I need that too, LOL).

Throughout our 10 years of being together and almost 5 years of marriage, we certainly haven’t always had the easiest road. We’ve gone through some really tough seasons together, and there’s honestly no perfect way to describe the level of love that comes from walking through those moments side by side.

We aren’t perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but who is?

Our love created this beautiful family that I never thought I wanted or needed so deeply. And I think that’s what hard seasons do, they change you, shape you, and evolve you into a completely new version of yourself.

At-Home Date Nights

With that being said, the idea of date nights was born.

At first, I had this big, grand vision of what that would look like. I imagined physically leaving the house twice a month, going out to dinner, doing activities, and really making it feel like a full experience.

But reality quickly set in.

That kind of plan involves finding a babysitter, spending money (which, let’s be honest, dinner and activities almost always do), and actually taking the time to plan it all out.

We are currently in a season of being very mindful about our finances, so that alone put a bit of a wrench in the extravagant plans I had in my head. And on top of that, the thought of planning one more thing felt overwhelming. My mind already holds so many moving pieces, and adding more to it just felt like too much.

And if your husband is anything like mine, getting him to make a decision can sometimes feel like pulling teeth.

So naturally… without really planning it…

At-home date nights were born.

Simple & Meaningful, Not Complicated & Extravagant

It’s actually kind of funny how this one evolved.

Most things on my 30 Before 30 list require intention, planning, and a lot of thought. This one included, I had big ideas for what it should look like. But instead, it turned into something completely different, and honestly, something that happened so naturally that I almost didn’t even want to count it.

It didn’t feel grand enough. It didn’t feel like it checked the box the way I had imagined.

But after thinking about it more, I realized…

That’s exactly why it’s perfect.

Everything I’ve been trying to do, become, and share is about finding those little moments in everyday life. Creating something that fits into your life, instead of forcing your life to fit into something unrealistic.

So the fact that our date nights came together in such a natural, effortless way made it even more meaningful.

What Actually Is It?

So what do our at-home date nights actually consist of?

Well… it all started with my husband’s love for Survivor.

With season 50 coming out this year, he told me he was going to start watching all the seasons from the beginning. I kind of brushed it off at first because I had never really watched it and only seen commercials and it just never interested me.

But that quickly changed.

We have a TV in our kitchen, and my husband, Alec, does about 90% of our cooking and cleaning (he’s basically the housewife that I am not, LOL). He loves having something on while he’s in the kitchen, and I would always find myself getting sucked into it while passing by. The show was actually nothing like I thought it would be either.

Before I knew it, he was probably 20 seasons in before I finally sat down and decided to start a full season with him.

And this is where it gets very real.

Not sure if anyone else can relate, but of course… we had some miscommunication.

I started a season with him and told him not to finish it without me.

Well… he didn’t hear that. And he went ahead and finished the entire season. To say I was mad would be an understatement. We had an argument of course but settled it out and decided to have a redo and started a new season together.

Well some more miscommunication happened and he blasted through this next season... AGAIN!

And honestly, writing it out now sounds so small and almost silly compared to some of the bigger things we’ve gone through. But when you’ve gone through hard seasons in your marriage, sometimes the little things hit harder than they should. And in that moment, it wasn’t about the show, it was about the principle and the connection I was craving with him.

It had been such a long time since we had watched something together, and if you’re anything like us, it’s rare to find a show that we both actually want to watch.

We usually have completely different tastes. Sometimes he wants to watch a show, and I want to watch a movie, and it just doesn’t align.

So the fact that we finally found something we both enjoyed felt special.

Once we got past all of that (and the slightly dramatic frustration that came with it), we finally settled on a season to watch together. And it ended up being one of the best seasons we’ve both seen.

That’s when our date nights really began.

Around 7:30 every night, after we got the boys to bed, we would sit down together on the couch, turn on Survivor, and just be together.

We’d get comfy in our pajamas, snuggle under a blanket, make some snacks, and just relax. And honestly, it felt like the early days of our relationship. Back when we were 18 and 20, just “hanging out” and “dating,” when life felt simpler.

It’s funny, because I used to think connection had to look like deep conversations or doing something intentional together.

But connection has so many layers.

And the simplicity of sitting next to each other, watching a show, and just being present is something that shouldn’t be overlooked. Especially in this season of being in the thick of parenthood, busyness, and constant things going on everyday.

The point isn’t that I wish I was back in those days either, because I wouldn’t trade the life we have now for anything.

Not even the hard seasons.

Because those seasons shaped me into who I am today. They’re what led me to be writing this blog, searching for meaning and light in everyday life.

What This Experience Really Taught Me

You don’t need big, grand moments for something to matter.

You don’t need perfection for something to be meaningful.

And honestly, the reason I haven’t done so many of the things on my 30 Before 30 list before is because I made them feel too big. Too overwhelming. Too perfect.

And then I would just stop altogether.

This was a reminder to slow down.

To choose something simple.

To let it be easy.

To let it fit into my life exactly as it is.

And that’s something my husband has always been so good at.

He balances me in ways I can’t always do for myself. He brings simplicity into my chaos, steadiness into my overthinking, and helps everything just make a little more sense.

So What’s Next?

More Survivor, of course.

We’re currently on season 36 and have quite a few more to go before we reach season 50. We’ve been dodging spoilers like crazy trying not to ruin anything for ourselves.

We even thought about just skipping ahead, but we didn’t want to spoil everything leading up to it.

As for my 30 Before 30 list and these date nights…

This one might just continue to evolve.

It’s less about checking off two perfect date nights a month and more about choosing intentional time together, whatever that looks like in the season we’re in.

Sometimes it might be something bigger.

But most of the time, it will probably look like this.

Simple. Real. Ours.

So Here’s Your Reminder

Slow down.

Kiss your partner.

Listen to them.

Put them first.

And if you’re in a season where you need to be put first, make that known.

Fill your cup and fill theirs, because it’s a partnership.

And I truly wouldn’t be who I am today without my husband.

Come back next week for the Weekly Reset and follow along for more tips, more chaos, and more real, raw, everyday moments.

Love you all 🤍